Boundaries: The How

So how do you decide what your boundaries are? In order to set realistic boundaries that are true for you, you need to know what your values are.

Personal values may come from circumstances and experiences in your life and can change over time. Personal values are implicitly related to choice; they guide decisions by allowing for an individual's choices to be compared to each choice's associated values.

Business values often mirror your personal values and should be set based on your services, products and expectations of your clients. You need to be clear on what you expect from your clients and what they can expect from you.

I'd love to hear your stories, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment. To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo

Boundaries and trust

Whether we're conscious of it or not, we all want boundaries. Boundaries help us to feel secure, to understand how to best meet ours and others' needs. It is the foundation in building trust. We all instinctively push at boundaries... not because we want to break them (though it often appears that way) but because we want to know that they are firm and solid and that we can trust them.

Trust is a key ingredient in all relationships and in manifesting happiness and success. Think about someone you know who is wobbly in their boundaries (maybe it's even you). You've seen them let people run amok all over them. Do you fully trust them, or is there something about them that keeps you from completely relying on them for anything?

I'd love to hear your stories, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment. To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo

Boundaries

Know and develop your boundaries. Without boundaries, there can be no trust. Without trust, there is no working relationship. And that includes with yourself! Once you choose your boundaries it is important to stay in integrity with yourself around them.

So what's the big deal about boundaries? Boundaries are crucial to all relationships, whether they're personal, familial or in business. The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. The majority of people do not intend to hurt or offend us, and we need to be able to effectively communicate what that means to us so they can understand. Every person has the right to protect and defend themselves - not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.

We all have perceived boundaries, so having them really isn't the issue - holding them is. Experience has shown me that if you're wobbly in holding your boundaries you can't trust yourself, and if you can't trust yourself no one else will trust you either.

I'd love to hear your stories, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment. To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo

Outta Control

You can't fix or control anyone but yourself! Those who try to control everyone and everything around them are typically feeling so out of control within themselves that it is an act of desperation to control something. What you can control is how you choose to respond. Your intial response is not always the best one. Develop a practice of stopping, taking a breath and deciding how you want to respond, then take action.

If you find yourself as the one trying to control things, stop! Ask yourself what is it really about. If your needs are not being met, perhaps you need to state them more clearly.

I'd love to hear your stories, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment. To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo