1 "Holding on to past events, anger, hurts and
being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will
die." - I've seen this quote attributed to several different people like Carrie
Fisher, Debbie Ford and some say it is an old Buddhist Proverb. Whomever said
it, it is a definite truth! Hanging on to that nasty stuff only hurts you...no
one else.
Depending on what you are "holding on to" this may seem like an insurmountable task. If you can't feel like you can't forgive the person who committed the transgression, then start with you. Yes, you. No matter what happened, my personal experience with myself and others has shown me that some part of you blames YOU. "If only I had...", "I should have...", etc. This erodes your self-trust and inner power. How do you forgive yourself? There are several ways.
If you meditate you can put yourself in a meditative state and take yourself back to that part of you that was hurt and tell yourself whatever you need to say - "I'm sorry.", "I forgive you", "I love you".
Another way you can start to work on that is to do an Active Imagination session with that part of yourself. Find a quiet place, get a piece of paper and pen. Use your first initial to mark it as you and write the conversation. Example:
B: I call upon the part of me that represents my 9 year old self. Are you here?
LG (Little Girl): Yes.
B:Thank you for coming. I want to talk to you about what happened.
LG: That was scary. I don't want to talk about it.
B: What can I do to make it safe for you talk about?
LG: Don't make me re-live it.
B:I promise I will not make you re-live. I just want you to know that it was not your fault and I forgive you.
LG: But if I hadn't been there...
B:You had no idea that would happen. You did nothing wrong.
And so on until you feel the conversation is complete. Or, you can always see a healer, coach, counselor or therapist to assist you in this healing. For me, I found that doing all of these (because it often takes more than one thing to fully forgive and let go) worked the best.
I'd love to hear your stories of forgiveness, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment.
To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo
Depending on what you are "holding on to" this may seem like an insurmountable task. If you can't feel like you can't forgive the person who committed the transgression, then start with you. Yes, you. No matter what happened, my personal experience with myself and others has shown me that some part of you blames YOU. "If only I had...", "I should have...", etc. This erodes your self-trust and inner power. How do you forgive yourself? There are several ways.
If you meditate you can put yourself in a meditative state and take yourself back to that part of you that was hurt and tell yourself whatever you need to say - "I'm sorry.", "I forgive you", "I love you".
Another way you can start to work on that is to do an Active Imagination session with that part of yourself. Find a quiet place, get a piece of paper and pen. Use your first initial to mark it as you and write the conversation. Example:
B: I call upon the part of me that represents my 9 year old self. Are you here?
LG (Little Girl): Yes.
B:Thank you for coming. I want to talk to you about what happened.
LG: That was scary. I don't want to talk about it.
B: What can I do to make it safe for you talk about?
LG: Don't make me re-live it.
B:I promise I will not make you re-live. I just want you to know that it was not your fault and I forgive you.
LG: But if I hadn't been there...
B:You had no idea that would happen. You did nothing wrong.
And so on until you feel the conversation is complete. Or, you can always see a healer, coach, counselor or therapist to assist you in this healing. For me, I found that doing all of these (because it often takes more than one thing to fully forgive and let go) worked the best.
I'd love to hear your stories of forgiveness, struggles or questions. Feel free to comment.
To your transformational enlightenment ~ Bo
